u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
