how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize