mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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