Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
