I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You did what with his pubic hair?
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