Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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