just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
