Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just found a bag of teeth...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
