Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
