The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
there is glitter all over my balls
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
