why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
