i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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