I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
