C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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