yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize