Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
