just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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