Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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