i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize