Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
We're too hungover to prance.
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