my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
