if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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