dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Randomize
