so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
