Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
