He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize