2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize