yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize