UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
