well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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