Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
