We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
