When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
