Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
