Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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