then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
