Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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