So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
false alarm, still single
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
