Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
