I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
