Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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