It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
