I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
