Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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