Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
