Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize