I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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