my sisters under your porch take her home
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
