no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
