i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Boobs are out for the taking
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
