Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
