i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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