Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
