My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
