so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
