why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
