dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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