Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
