Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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