Nicole vs. Life
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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