butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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