I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
