I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
