it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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