She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
