I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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