What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
