Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
