Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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