I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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