her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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