He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize